Ah
The Crystal Maze. A show I have been a huge fanatic of for as long as I can remember. Everyone that has entered my life has been subjected to a conversation about it at some point. My long suffering parents have had to sit through the show numerous times. I've probably seen every episode more than once.
Why do I love the show so much? Well...it's bloody brilliant!
I'm not entirely sure when I first saw it. I was born when the show was airing on Channel 4. So I'm one of those that first saw it via the Challenge reruns from the late 90's on wards. It was definitely from around the age of 4 or 5.
To be honest, if you are reading this. You'll know what happens in the show. But I'll give a short run down...
The Crystal Maze is an adventure game show which was aired on Channel 4 and produced by Chatsworth Television, who also produced the likes of
Treasure Hunt and
Interceptor. The original series ran for six series between 1990 and 1995.
The first four series were presented by Richard O'Brien (of
The Rocky Horror Show fame) and the final two by Ed Tudor-Pole (the former front man of 80's band
Tenpole Tudor).
The show has recently been revived with a one off special presented by Stephen Merchant in 2016. Followed by a full series hosted by Richard Ayoade from 2017 onwards.
A team of six strangers (or five friends in the revival) were guided around four themed worlds (or zones) around the maze.
There was Aztec, complete with sand, totem poles, jungle and Aztec carvings.
Industrial (Series 1-3 and revival only) an abandoned factory with lots of corrugated metal, oil drums and machinery everywhere.
Medieval , pretty much what it says on the tin. The inside of a medieval castle. With flaming torches lining the walls and a portcullis.
Futuristic, the inside of a space station. Complete with talking computer.
and my favourite, Ocean (Series 4-6 of the original only). An abandoned early 20th century ocean liner called the SS Atlantis which had sank but was trapped inside an air bubble.
Individual members of the team played a timed game inside cells lining each zone. While the others stood outside giving "advice" although most of the time it was usually unhelpful. A successful completion of a task rewarded them with a crystal. Failure to leave the cell before the time ran out resulted in the contestant being locked in and forfeiting an already won crystal was the only way to release prisoners.
Each crystal was worth 5 seconds in the final crystal dome task. Where inside the dome, fans blew gold and silver tokens about which the team would have to grab and post inside a letter box.
Gold ones added to the total. Silver subtracted. They needed a score of 100 or more gold tokens to win the prize which was normally an action adventure weekend of some sort.
So that is the basic premise. If you want a better idea. There's plenty of episodes on Youtube.
So what made the show so amazing and stand out from the rest? Well, let's take a look at the key elements of this cult classic.
First off, let's start with the set. The sheer scale and attention the detail is incredible. Both the original and revival sets were designed by James Dillon. The massive set was housed for it's first series at Shepperton Film studios and for the other five series inside an aircraft hangar in North Weald, Essex.
 |
| The Maze Map (Series 4-6) |
The extra added details made it that much better too. Such as the Aztec river and the hydraulic lift used in Futuristic. As well as the soundscapes used in each set. Such as the whirring of Futuristic, the jungle noises of Aztec and the gushing water in Ocean.
Just to give you an idea of how vast and costly the set was. According to the book
Crystal Maze Challenge released in 1992...
The Aztec Zone contained 22 tons of sand and a mixture of real and artificial plants.
The whole set contained 40,000 litres of water (and this book was released before Ocean Zone was built so I imagine that amount increased!)
Around 50 people were involved in construction of the set.
It cost over half a million pounds to build.
It was the size of a football pitch.
The amount of video tape used in each series was almost 100,000 meters.
The whole set used the same amount of electricity per series as the average house hold would use in 50 years.
and what you have to remember is, this was a set for a TV gameshow and not a hollywood film!
Also, for anyone wondering. The original set really was all connected and the dome really did sit in the centre. Exactly as shown on the maze map.
The next thing we have to mention on why the show is so awesome is the games. 50 new games were featured in each series. Which ranged to the simple but clever to the downright harshly difficult. Including the dreaded automatic lock in games. Now there were so many games over the six series. I'm not going to mention every single one. But I will mention my favourites.
1. The Crystal Appears At Midnight - Series 4, Futuristic
The contestant had to attach rubber belts to a series of wheels and then cycle backwards to turn the hands on a giant clock until it reached midnight. Many people pedalled the bike the wrong way, moving the hands further from midnight. Much to the frustration of everyone.
2. Dynamite - Series 5, Ocean
One of my favourite games from Ocean as it was such a simple idea. Yet it was only won twice out of the five times it was played. The contestant had to transport a lighted candle underwater. Using a bell jar placed over it to trap enough oxygen to carry the flame underwater to the other side of the cell. Where it would be used to light a stick of dynamite attached to a treasure chest.
3. Crystal Bank - Series 5, Futuristic
The contestant would have to enter a pin number in to the computer to correctly. To find out what the code was. They had to swipe giant credit cards where a recorded message would read out a clue to one of the digits. But the cards had to be swiped at the correct pace otherwise the message would come out garbled. Which often lead to quite amusing moments where the message came out sounding like
Alvin and the Chipmunks were reading them out.
4. Wind The Capstan - Series 3, Medieval
The contestant would enter the cell which lead to another room containing the crystal sitting unprotected on an easily reachable shelf. Taking the crystal resulted in a portcullis coming down and trapping the contestant inside. To get out. They had to put together a series of cogs and a capstan and wind the rope around it to pull the portcullis back up again.
5. Ring The Doorbell - Series 2, Industrial
The contestant had to wire up a giant battery correctly which was attached to a large doorbell and then ring it.
6. Crystal Credits - Series 6, Futuristic
This game was so difficult it was only won once the entire series it was featured. The contestant had to crawl around a 3D maze which had 3 levels to it. Dotted around were power packs with various numerical values on them. Once a pack was removed the numerical amount would start decreasing with each second until it was plugged back in at the collection point at the bottom of the maze. The contestant needed the collected power packs to equal 100 or more to obtain the crystal.
7. Lighthouse - Series 6, Ocean
The cell room featured a large pool of water. A lighthouse at one end, a generator at the other and a row boat between the two. The contestant would pull a lever, releasing the boat down a track in to the pool and crank the generator until the lighthouse turned on. A small hatch would also open at the bottom revealing the crystal. They then had to row back before the generator powered down, switching the lighthouse off and causing the crystal hatch to close.
Next we have to talk about the EPIC theme tune. I mean if you haven't heard it...why are you reading this? It's a theme tune that screams action, adventure, suspense, jeopardy and mystery. Which is basically
The Crystal Maze in a nutshell. The theme tune actually has a name too. It's called
Forcefield by Zack Laurence.
You can listen to it here.
One thing that I liked about original
Crystal Maze is it was a show which never had celebrities on it. Well, the revival does (sadly). But
Crystal Maze in the 90's. Never ever did. Instead, at Christmas, it gave children the chance to take on the maze. Who often did better than the adult contestants. One notable child contestant is a then 15 year old Michael Underwood.
Who went on the present
Jungle Run which appeared to borrow a lot from
The Crystal Maze.
There's also the fact that the show is pretty well known for it's abundance of inept contestants. Which had us all screaming at the Television with frustration. There were several moments of blunders which have since become viral videos on Youtube.
In fact here's a compilation of them.
So finally, the final key to why
The Crystal Maze is so legendary is the presenters. Now the first person people think of when mentioning the show is of course Richard O'Brien who presented the first four series of the show. One of the genius decisions of Chatsworth Television, Malcolm Heyworth and David G. Croft was not to have a known face or a TV presenter to host it. To add an air of mystery and fantasy to the show. Richard was by trade, an actor. Best known for writing
The Rocky Horror Show and performing in the original stage version and film as Riff Raff.
Richard is known for his eccentric demeanor and he took to
The Crystal Maze naturally and audiences loved his dry humour and sarcastic remarks as contestants failed at winning crystals.As well as his outlandish wardrobe and his harmonica playing during games or "excitement music" as he called it! It was also Richard who was responsible for inventing up the stories and asides to camera during the games. Which were totally ad libbed at first. Before being written in the the show, with more elaborate story lines being invented up. During games, Richard did all sorts to distract proceedings and inject humour. From playing guitar and piano and singing. To playing pinball and Scalextric (in the Medieval zone, no less!).
One of my favourites being Richard telling the contestants he's suffering a hangover after a wild party with his Mumsey held in The Ocean Zone! Cue the contestants entering said zone to find it trashed, covered with streamers and balloons.
Talking of Mumsey, that was another genius idea of Richard's. One game in the first series featured contestants answering riddles set by a fortune teller character played by Sandra Caron. Richard decided to call her Mumsey for a joke and it stuck. She ended up staying for the four series with Richard too. Richard has since stated that he received thousands of letters each year from children who believed him and Mumsey lived at the maze and brewed the crystals up themselves!
For some reason. Mumsey didn't appear in Series 3 as she was apparently touring America. So Richard's Auntie Sabrina took over the riddles game (also played by Sandra Caron). Mumsey would return for Series 4.
Richard decided to concentrate on his acting career and left after the fourth series. A great storyline was invented where Richard and Mumsey rode out of the maze on a Harley Davidson. So Mumsey can be closer to Dwayne. A hippy she fell in love with during her America trip.
Along came the second maze master, Edward Tudor Pole (but you can call him Ed!).
Ed was another inspired choice for the maze role. Also an actor and a musician and stark raving mad.
Now a number of
Crystal Maze fans are not keen on Ed's tenure on the show. I totally understand no one could fill the shoes of Richard O'Brien. But I don't think Ed did a bad job. He kept the fast pace of the show going. Added his own flair to proceedings and I have to say I love his costume! It's fab!
One of my favourite gags during the Ed years. Is one in the final series. During a game, Ed spots a early 20th century wind up mini film viewer (I'm sure there's a proper term for them) and proceeds to watch the grainy black and white film. Starring someone who looks familiar...
Also, for anyone not keen to watch those final two series. I have to say the Ed years had some of the best games. In fact, part of me wishes
The Crystal Maze ran for another series or two. The sixth and final series has some wonderfully elaborate games.
The show ended on Channel 4 in August 1995. But the show has remained a favourite in the UK ever since. Thanks in part to it never being off the telly as Challenge TV have ran them repeatedly since the late 1990's.
But the idea of the show ever coming back seemed like a dream that would never happen as the sheer cost of building the set all over again would be incredibly costly. Especially in a multi channel TV world with smaller budgets.
But some crazy guys at Little Lion Entertainment decided one day to start a crowdfunder to build a live
Crystal Maze experience for people to play. They wanted £500,000. They ended up with almost £1,000,000 in a matter of weeks. Two have since opened. One in London and one in the UK.
Off the back of this, Channel 4 did a one off special of
The Crystal Maze in 2016
for Stand Up To Cancer with Stephen Merchant (in Richard O'Brien mode) presenting and actually did a great job.
This one off special was so successful. Channel 4 announced in 2017. They were bringing the maze back properly for a full series. With a new set being built at The Bottle Yard Studios in Bristol. I for one, was overjoyed.
I am glad
The Crystal Maze is back for a new generation to enjoy. It also means I can see some new games instead of the old ones over and over and some great merchandise has come out off the back of it. But I do have a few niggles. The set is much smaller and has no real zone transitions. Teams are now friends and not strangers, so no there's no jeopardy of people being locked in. Less games are played and there's more padding. Plus The Industrial Zone has been brought back, my least favourite zone. Plus I'm not sure on the choosing of Richard Ayoade to present. I totally get why he was picked. There's an air of mystery to him, he's a bit off the wall. But he's a known personality. He is pretty much Moss from
The IT Crowd in everything. He also has a habit of repeating the same jokes. "
You'll look different in a moment, this is due to editing" is mildly amusing once. But not three times each show and finally...WHY DOES THERE NEED TO BE SO MANY CELEBRITY SPECIALS!?
But like I said. I am happy to see it back despite the long list of niggles. New people can get in to it. But at the same time, I hope they also see some of the original series. I'm also hoping to get the new
Crystal Maze board game for Christmas!
Long may the legacy of
The Crystal Maze continue!
Well, up next on the blog. Expect a few exciting interviews all relating to
The Crystal Maze. Coming up over the next few weeks.
